Anxious

I become restless for the things I want and for the things I can't get but still I hope n keep on hoping.i don't believe in people's word still no matter how much I try,back in my mind I keep guessing the lies.i don't really do that on purpose but I never hear the kind of words I want people should say to believe in them..small things made me think n I keep thinking hard about it..why can't I believe n why I am scared always it's like I know something and I don't wanna believe. i know I am gonna fall but I am not doing anything about it...why I feel something really bad gonna happen that I can't handle this time...over the time I become a weaker person. I am full of questions and I don't seem to get any answer of it. Everything is delusional. I get hurt may be that's why I am scared. I lie down being clueless lifeless.. disbelief does that to people may be that is what has happened to me...I have been given everything and Soon it will be taken to make me realize i have no existence left in this world..I became too obvious. The door I am standing at weather it will make me full of life or lifeless....why I am hurt tday for what reason I am not at ease..