Senses are numb your hearing power is loosing day by day..you can't see anything clearly it's an unclear site..can't speak as you don't know any words..you are thinking thinking hard recalling it but not able to recall anything,your memory started to fade away n it's all seems like a blur picture..suddenly you want to go somewhere but you don't know actually,you took a step it's so dark you can't see anything,moving your hands in the air and trying to hold something so that you can walk but it's so hard barely moving..it's all so silent weird silent it's so scary,now you are trying to yell so that anybody come for help but your are not able to yell so helpless,unknown and full of fear...waiting now then you hear something n moving towards the voice that voice is not clear but it's getting louder as you are walking, there is a light you want to enquire what it is,you begin to run your heartbeat is increasing n by that time you reach towards the light it's again dark so dark...you feel the chills now...
Monday, 23 July 2018
Thursday, 19 July 2018
Reflection
Suddenly you are distant..I want to know how does it feel if someone is crying in front of you n you just choose to avoid cause you are angry..when someone is angry they don't know what they are saying later may be they realize.at the end I think its all my mistake I should just stop right there n resolve everything it does not matter how I feel at the moment,it's important to get rid of bitterness first may be that gives mey peace of mind too...I think way too much n thats my problem...I hope not to get hurt this much that I become silent.
Why do I have a feeling that something is not right n something is off.is there anything I am lacking still.
Is it too much to ask for, that you want to be happy just once in life,we can't even deserve that.i think everyone wants that at least to have one person by your side whom you can rely. Kept on asking but never got the answer you are looking for.keeping words is difficult I think..this is life unpredictable.
Suddenly you lost your position suddenly your irritating n suddenly you no longer have the same space...we become I n us become me....may be you are that kind of person whom people get sick off...
Perfect is an illusion there is nothing perfect.
Incomplete is a new complete n imperfection is new perfection...
Shed tears until ur heart is out n then your painless n strong n ruthless later see what you gonna become...
Wednesday, 11 July 2018
Anxious
I become restless for the things I want and for the things I can't get but still I hope n keep on hoping.i don't believe in people's word still no matter how much I try,back in my mind I keep guessing the lies.i don't really do that on purpose but I never hear the kind of words I want people should say to believe in them..small things made me think n I keep thinking hard about it..why can't I believe n why I am scared always it's like I know something and I don't wanna believe. i know I am gonna fall but I am not doing anything about it...why I feel something really bad gonna happen that I can't handle this time...over the time I become a weaker person. I am full of questions and I don't seem to get any answer of it. Everything is delusional. I get hurt may be that's why I am scared. I lie down being clueless lifeless.. disbelief does that to people may be that is what has happened to me...I have been given everything and Soon it will be taken to make me realize i have no existence left in this world..I became too obvious. The door I am standing at weather it will make me full of life or lifeless....why I am hurt tday for what reason I am not at ease..
Tuesday, 20 March 2018
Things i like
Things I like: The smell after rain,baggy sweaters,books you can't put down,making people smile,feeling loved,saying hello to strangers,songs that relate to me,the smell of fresh bread,sleepovers ,hot tea,thunderstorms,saying thing which don't hv any meaning...crazyyy no....
Monday, 12 March 2018
Change i decided for myself
Its been a while that I Have written something here as technology changed in past few years I can now post through my phone sounds like I am talking like being in a time where I was not aware of technology hehe but honestly it's a lot better to be this way too...So let's talk about the huge change in my life...journey of being in love, betrayal,sadness, disbelief.a journey of not relying on people and leaving everythin behind n just dumping life...so sound like a person in depression yes I always sound like a depressed person so far but not anymore there was a time when I was too comfortable in being in pain in denial..life is hell lot better when you learn to accept yourself the way you are.its ok to be sad it's ok to be broken n it's ok to think you are not mentally stable..I used to think I am special I talk to myself I talk to god though he don't reply but it's all different to me n it does make me feel like an alian too..after all those brainstorming moments n motivational stuff bla bla bla n what not....I accepted myself n I want to make myself happy as it's high time for me I have to embrace myself, if I don't embrace myself nobdy will do that for me in future or in present. DECEMBER 2016 to FEBRUARY 2017 it took me 3 months literally to accept I am good enough for this world n for myself just that I was living in different dimension the whole time so let's just chuck it now...left behind everything dark..I now smile laugh n it feels so gud seriously I don't need makeup to look good I just smile brightly to myself n to the world.we can always decide where to stop n start a new life a happy life.